


Disenchanted

by HopanForever2020



Category: All My Children
Genre: AU, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flashbacks, Heavy Angst, Jabe - Freeform, Multi, Past Rape/Non-con, Pregnancy, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-25 07:41:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30085722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HopanForever2020/pseuds/HopanForever2020
Summary: Babe was in love with her husband and thought she had made that clear to Josh. However, his love for her has become an obsession, resulting in a dangerous mistake. Now Babe must attempt to heal and move on with JR and their son, a feat no longer easy to accomplish when she constantly relives her trauma and feels as if she is losing herself.
Relationships: Adam Chandler/Krystal Carey, Babe Carey Chandler/JR Chandler, Josh Madden/Babe Carey Chandler (one-sided), Kendall Hart/Zach Slater





	Disenchanted

****

**TRIGGER** **WARNING: This story deals heavily with the subject of rape and will have graphic content regarding that subject and whatever else I choose to include as I go. If you feel that you can handle that, proceed. If not, go back now.**

**Also: this is a Babe Carey Chandler/Jabe friendly story because I loved her character and that ship, so if anyone has a problem with either Babe, JR, or their ship, this story is not the one for you. Don't even read it if you hate it.**

**That is all. Now on with the story.**

"Did you sleep with Josh, Babe?" JR asked, staring at his wife with piercing eyes as he waited for her to either confirm or deny Josh's claims.

Babe gazed back at him, feeling all the blood drain from her face. Her throat closed up and she could feel tears dampen the corners of her eyes.

_"Josh, leave."_

_"You love me, Babe. You know you do, and I'm going to prove it."_

_"Josh, no! Please, stop, we can't do this!"_

_"I can make you happy."_

_The sound of a zipper being pulled down._

_"You're hurting me, Josh, please!"_

_Strong hands pinning her wrists down._

_"You don't need JR."_

_Her underwear was gone and her legs were spread, giving a stranger an intimate view to what only her husband was allowed to see._

_"No, no, no, Josh, stop! I love JR!"_

_One thrust forward and then there was nothing but pain._

_"You're so much better than how I imagined."_

JR watched Babe's eyes cloud as if she were in another place. Was she thinking about Josh? Were they having an affair?

"Babe, answer me," JR demanded, his desperation hardening him, bracing himself for the blow he feared was coming. "Is it true? Did you have sex with him?"

"Yes," Babe whispered, her head swimming. "If you consider what Michael Cambias did to Bianca as sex, then yes, I did."

JR stared at her, not comprehending at first. Then it dawned on him.

"Babe…" JR took one step forward, placing a gentle hand on his wife's cheek, watching her eyes focus. They darted for a second as if checking for something, then they landed on him.

"I'm going to ask you this only once, just to make sure I really understand what you just said to me," his voice was still that dangerously calm level it got when he was furious.

_His movements got faster now, harder. Her mind was shutting down as pain radiated between her legs._

"Did Josh rape you?"

_One more hard thrust, a groan of her name, and a man other than her husband was filling her with everything he had._

Babe's lip trembled, the tears finally escaping and falling in traitorous trails down her cheeks.

_A gentle kiss to her lips, another declaration of love, and he was gone._

_She felt cold. Numb._

_How could he do this to her?_

"Yes," Babe whimpered, agony lacing her voice as she thought of that horrible night. "Yes, Josh raped me."

JR's jaw clenched, his eyes darkening as he took in his wife's confession. Fury pulsed through him, heating the blood in his veins. He imagined Josh holding Babe down, ignoring her as she said no, tearing her apart from the inside out….

Babe misunderstood his silence. "JR, please, I'm so sorry. I didn't want it, you have to believe me," desperation overcame her and she began gripping his shirt in her hands. He couldn't leave her!

"Shhh," JR gently took her clenched fists into his hands, rubbing and soothing them until they uncurled. "I believe you, baby."

"You do?" Babe whispered, staring at him as the tears continued pouring.

JR nodded and Babe started sobbing, burying her face into his chest, the relief of finally telling her husband what happened to her and that he believed her overwhelming her. She clutched at him again as if he would disappear if she let go.

JR placed his chin on top of her head, his arms encircling her and giving her the safety she desired. "When did it happen?" He asked, softly, so he didn't upset her any more than she already was.

Babe took a moment to collect herself. She turned her cheek to his chest, listening to the comforting sound of his heartbeat. "It was on the rooftop at Fusion," she whispered, her throat raw from all of her crying. "I went up there to think and have some time to myself. Josh came up and he started talking about how much he loved me and how you didn't deserve to be with me. I told him to leave because I didn't want to be with him, but he….he…." Her throat closed up again as fresh tears welled in her eyes.

"Shhh," JR soothed, rubbing her back. After a few moments of silence, he said, "Babe, that was back in September. Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"I…" Babe choked out. "I didn't think you would believe me."

JR closed his eyes, pain and self-loathing flooding him. Of course she would think that. How could she not when he's used all of her mistakes against her and constantly assumed the worst whenever a conflict arose in their relationship?

"I didn't think anyone would believe me. They might have thought I deserved it, that it was my fault," her voice shook as she barely managed to get the words out.

JR instantly pulled away from her, looking into her eyes. "You did not deserve what Josh did to you," he said sternly. "He is the sick, twisted son of a bitch who wouldn't take your no for an answer and when he realized you already made your choice and it wasn't him, he couldn't accept it and he raped you, then he came to me and gloated about sleeping with you as if he hadn't forced you. He's the one who deserves to pay and he will."

Gently framing her face with his hands, he leaned forward until their foreheads were touching and they were staring into each other's eyes. "I will do everything in my power to make sure that he pays for the pain he caused you," he promised. "Josh Madden will never hurt you again, Babe."

Babe's shoulders slumped, some of the tension melting out of her at his words. She believed that he would keep her safe.

"I'm tired," she whispered.

"Then let's go to bed," he replied.

"I...I have trouble sleeping," Babe reluctantly admitted. "Whenever I close my eyes, I see him on top of me and I just can't…" she shook her head and moved her forehead away from his so she could hide her face into his chest again.

"So that's why you've gotten up during the night and sat in the dark in the living room," JR breathed, closing his eyes as the realization hit him. "God, Babe, I'm so sorry. You've been in so much pain and I've only added to it."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore," Babe said. "Not tonight."

JR nodded and led her up to their bedroom. When they entered, Babe went into their bathroom to take a shower while JR got ready for bed.

Turning on the shower, Babe undressed and stopped for a minute when she caught her reflection in the mirror.

Her eyes were bloodshot from all the crying she had done earlier, her face paler than normal. The bruises on her wrists and hips from where Josh had held her down were mostly healed, but she could still see the faint discoloration. It was like a scar, taunting her.

Babe bit her lip so hard she could taste blood. She could still feel the ache in her lips from Josh's aggressive kiss, a kiss that he believed to be loving and passionate when it was really just all teeth and force. She wished she could remove her lips from her face and get a new set that had never been touched by him, by anyone, really. A set that was all her own so she could decide who could kiss them and who couldn't.

The worst part wasn't her lips or her wrists, her hips or even the area between her legs. No, the area that Josh did the most damage to was her heart.

She loved JR. That was no secret. For better or worse, he was her husband, the love of her life, the father of her child. He was the man she imagined herself being with for the rest of her life since that day on the San Diego pier when she first saw him after he had tried to stop her from what he mistakenly believed to have been a suicide attempt. She had never seen a man so beautiful with his tousled, spiky blonde hair, those gorgeous blue eyes that were always so expressive whether the emotion was hate or love, that confident smirk that he always seemed to be sporting. She made so many mistakes, but falling in love with him was never one of them.

Despite her love for her husband, Babe couldn't deny that she had felt something for Josh. He had always been so supportive, so kind, and during a time of her life in which she felt the distance between JR and herself from everything that had happened to them within the past year, she felt her feelings grow for him. Maybe in another life, she could have loved him, but now….now all she felt was hate for Josh Madden. Hate and fear and disgust.

"Don't cry," Babe muttered to herself. "He doesn't deserve any more tears you've already wasted on him."

Turning around, Babe stepped into the shower. She scrubbed and scrubbed at her skin as she washed. It was nearly two months ago, but she still felt as if she could never be clean. Her body was stained, her mind was stained, everything was stained. She was dirty and no matter how many showers she took or how many times she scrubbed her skin to the point of rawness, she could _never_ clean the filth from her soul.

Finally she threw the loofah down to the shower floor and collapsed into herself, holding her knees against her chest as hot tears rolled silently down her cheeks again. She could feel the water beating down her back, slowly chilling her skin as the heat went out of it, but she didn't care. She hasn't felt warm since the night of her rape.

As she sat there, crying, the door opened but she barely heard it. The shower door slid open and the water was turned off. She knew her body was shivering, but she didn't feel it. What a weird thing, being unable to feel either cold or warm.

Babe felt a fluffy towel being wrapped around her body. She knew it was JR from the smell of him, but she didn't react. She just remained motionless before he carefully helped her up and out of the shower. His hands were rough but gentle as he dried her off and helped her get dressed into her pajamas, then he led her back into their bedroom and helped her into bed before sliding in beside her and bringing her into his arms.

"I know you don't want to talk about this anymore tonight," JR began. "That's fine. I just want you to know that nothing about what happened to you was your fault. You chose to be with me and he had sex with you against your will. You having feelings for him or kissing him or anything else doesn't mean anything. As soon as you said no and he kept going….that was his fault, not yours, and I will _always_ believe my wife over the scumbag that Erica Kane calls her son."

Babe closed her eyes, feeling so unbelievably lucky that this man was her husband. Even after all they've done to hurt each other, he was still going to stand by her.

She didn't say anything, just turned her head into his chest and tightened the hold she had on his nightshirt. The last thing she remembered before she fell asleep was feeling JR's fingers running soothingly through her hair, his soft assurances echoing comfortingly in her ears.


End file.
